So, today something tragic happened to someone I am close to. My heart is breaking, and while her circumstances are not quite the same as mine, all the emotions of my losses keep coming back to me. Emotions can be such a great thing. And, yet, it seems like they are stored inside when it would be the most detrimental to come out. It was a rough morning, and finding out this news is almost too much. The sadness I know they are enduring, the inability to say just what needs to be said, the need for comfort that just is almost impossible to find.
My heart is breaking, as this friend of mine is losing her baby. I do not know the ins and outs of the situation, but remember the ins and outs of every single time I lost a baby. Regardless of how many times it has happened, it never gets easier. I remember several times waking up in recovery in such sorrow I couldn't bear it. I remember feeling so angry with God. I remember thinking it would be easier to literally rip my heart out than to feel the emotions of knowing my baby would never make it into the world. Wanting to go to sleep without waking up knowing I was no longer carrying that longed for child inside me. I honestly don't think a woman can ever heal from losing something they carry so close to their hearts. So, if you are reading this, please say a prayer for my friend. My heart is heavy for her today. I know God plans all things for our good, but at the time of loss, it is often hard to see how magnificent His plans truly are.