Perspective

Jess

This last weekend we had a little bit of a scare that really has caused me to think twice about so many silly little things.  The two little girls are currently sharing a room, so they also share the bedroom furnishings.  They were sent in to get some things out of their dresser.  Jessie is in a very independent stage and wants to do everything all by herself.  Cass got her stuff, then Jess got hers.  The dresser is old (I will clarify it is old for a dresser.  Not old for a person.) and a little unstable.  It ended up on top of Jessie.  The TV that has always sat on top of it ended up about 2 1/2 inches from her head.  She had some nasty marks, her arm was pinched in the drawer, and I felt the urgent need to have it x-rayed.  It looked bad, and had me slightly worried. 

On the way to urgent care, the reality of what had just happened hit me.  There is a blog I read every once in a while that lost their son to this exact thing.  Their dresser and TV fell on top of him.  He was killed.  He was also the same age as Jessica.  I have never felt such incredible gratitude before in my life.  I have always been so thankful the girls are in my life.  Being a mom in any circumstance can be difficult, but I have never wished they weren't around.  This reality check blew my mind.  In all reality, my daughter could have been seriously injured.  She could have had broken ribs, legs, or worse.  Instead, she had a possible fracture on her left arm.  The doctor said she was almost 100% sure it was fine, but sent it to a pediatric radiologist to be sure. 
In the last year, I found a Christian song that talks about God holding my world in His hands.  While it has always moved me, it has taken on a new meaning the last few months.  I have found it so reassuring to close my eyes and imagine those things that are so incredibly important to me just sitting there in the palm of God's hands.  The peace I get from realizing it isn't just an imaginary scenario is unreal.  This incident from last weekend made me really realize how close God is to me and my girls.  He will never leave us or forsake us.  He is our constant help.  He held me little girl in His hands and protected her from harm this last weekend. 

I have realized in the last 6 months how different my life could be.  I have experienced a new level of gratitude for the girls in my life.  Last Saturday when I realized how quickly my life could have really seriously changed has just really thrown me.  I am so thankful for God's covering over us.  I would love to say I will never have a weak moment, or that I will never experience trauma or pain again, but I know this isn't true.  However, I am so thankful that I know God will be there, regardless of how big or how small.  I want to be able to think that I won't let the girls frustrate me, wear me down, or make me angry.  That isn't realistic, because I am human.  But, to know that even in my weakness or inability to be in four places at once, God's got my back.  :)