Monday, April 2, 2012

Disney and Beyond

The girls and I had an incredible spring break trip to Disney World.  We made some amazingly incredible memories.  I feel so fortunate to be able to be on my own and still not have to give up the silly little luxuries. 

So much is happening with life right now, I don't even know where to start.  I feel so amazing and blessed.  In the not so distant past, I never thought I would feel as great about life as I do right now.  While I hate the "single" part, I am pretty thankful for the experiences and new faces I am enountering. 

I can finally start to see the girls' personalities again.  Sara went through an intense angry period.  She hated life.  She hated me, she hated her sisters.  The stinky part, was she had no problem telling anyone that.  It really broke my heart.  As a mom, I often feel like part of my job is to make their lives easier and happier.  I made a decision that literally ripped her world apart.  I made the decision knowing the sadness she would go through.  I am so happy that with a little patience and a lot of love I am starting to see glimpes of the young lady she is becoming.  She has started taking on responsibilities in the house, almost joyfully.  She loves to help me with Jessica.  She has started helping with the dishes and taking out trash, again, without complaint.  I am so thankful for that.  I know it doesn't seem like much, but for her, this is huge.  And I am so so thankful.  She is going to come out of this a young lady filled with hope and excitement for her future.  I am so excited to be her mom right now.  :)

Cassie has turned four, and is starting to go through some anxieties.  I am hoping it is just part of turning four, and not part of real fear.  She is taking an active role in learning, though, and soaks it all in.  I am really proud of the progress she is making.  Jessie is totally two.  Everything is mine, no and hitting.  She is a sweet girl, but only when she wants to be.  And, she doesn't like boys.  It makes me laugh, because she says she doesn't even love Jesus, because he is a boy.  I know she doesn't mean it, but it still makes me laugh.  She is such a stinker. 

I am really excited about so many things.  Life is always changing and slightly chaotic, but I am really happy with it.  I am meeting new people and embracing different challenges than I ever thought I would.  I am definitely stepping out of my comfort zone, and am almost enjoying this season of stretching and growing.  It is difficult and frustrating at times, but I cannot become the person God wants me to be if I don't ever change the things I allow to happen or affect me.  Change requires growth.  It is hard and uncomfortable, but the journey is even more amazing because of it.  Can't wait to see where his hand leads us in the next few weeks!


  1. Honestly, Cil, I am so uplifted & amazed to see the blessings & miracles happening in your life right now. I am not a religious person, but I deeply value my relationship with God. And it's the people like yourself that continue to show me that He is working in a big way with His people.
    I love your heart, and I love that I'm getting to see you evolve into the amazingly positive & joyful person I always knew was inside you from the first day we met. I love you!

  2. Don't even get me started on religion. :) I am not a "religious" person at all. I hate rules, belief systems, and legalities within a religion. However, I have realized I am a very spiritual person. And, the two are no where near equal. God is so working in big ways. Lots of different people, lots of different churches.

    I love getting to see the me I lost for so long. Thanks for the message of encouragement. It means a lot! Love you, too.