Monday, July 23, 2012

Random Thoughts

This is the third post I have written since I posted my last post.  Kinda makes me laugh, because one of those unpublished posts talked about having a love/hate relationship with the number three, and there it is again.  I am really in a strange mind-set where I really feel like writing and writing and writing and yet, nothing makes sense or feels right, so I post nothing instead and hit delete when I am finished.  I am not really sure what is going on in my head, and know I am feeling way too much with my heart right now.  Hoping this attempt is successful at going through what is in my head.

I have had the most fun/crazy/emotional week, though.  My nephews and a niece are in from Texas, and we have been having quite a bit of inexpensive fun.  While I was not told to do inexpensive things with them, it has been fun to find frugal ways of keeping 6 kids (from almost 3 to 12) entertained.  Most times, the older three do something while the younger three do another thing.  It has been so fun to watch how they have paired off, and the constant chatter will seriously be missed when they go home on Saturday.  We have done simple science experiments, most of which were successful, seen a baseball game, driven to a faraway zoo, eaten with chopsticks, had some water days, balloon fights, more science experiments, survived grocery shopping at Sam's Club, attended church on several occasions (and we weren't even late!), and swimming with friends today.  Thinking about doing a picnic/park day tomorrow and am even contemplating a lake day Friday.  I am sure I will be getting quite a bit of catch-up sleep when they leave, though.  I haven't slept well in what seems like forever.  Which leads me to the sleep-deprived emotional wreck that I am.  Sleep-deprived emotional wreck, that is still having fun and making many memories...

The girls leave for their second (and final for this year) 10 day visitation on Friday.  I will not see them until the first day of school.  This is a scary thought.  School is getting ready to start, and I feel like we haven't even had a break.  I have had so much fun and made so many memories with the girls this summer, and am really not looking forward to losing so many hours a day with Sara.  And yet, on the other hand, I miss my MDO kiddos and am ready to have a class again.  I am ready to decorate classrooms, get to know kids, and teach them some basic skills.  I am ready for a solid routine, and the freshness a new school year brings. 

The girls have such mixed feelings about going away this time.  Sara has mentioned that she will go, but only if Dad's girlfriend is there.  This makes me happy, that at least the girls like her, but am sad that they don't look forward to spending time alone with him.  I try to not read anything into it, but it is quite difficult not to.  Part of me is excited about them going, and part of me is really dreading it.  I am ready for a fresh coat of paint on our bathroom.  I love painting, but hate doing it with kids around.  So, this is really the perfect opportunity.  I have several sewing projects lined up, and know sewing will definitely help pass several days.  I also have a consignment sale "job" lined up for a few days, so again, a few more days are gone, too.  I am looking forward to seeing accomplishment without little girl related complications mixed in.  It will be a little different this time around, though, because I will have the house totally empty for most of the time they are gone.  My mom will be out of town, and it will definitely be interesting.  I don't do alone and quiet well, so this experience will be a test of my endurance, I am thinking.  I hope to get several long early morning runs in, too.  Honestly, this is what I am looking forward to the most. 

I sound crazy, but I totally am going through running withdrawals.  When I could run, we were having 100+ temps everyday, and I opted to not sweat my weight out every other day with a run.  Probably not the best choice, but it seemed good at the time.  With all the kids here, running went from a slim window of opportunity to not going to happen at all.  I am counting down the days until I can just get out there and go.  I miss it really desperately.  Yeah, crazy.  Trust me, I know.  ;)  Listening to three little girls fight in the living room over who gets to be the mommy makes me want to run even more.  And, now I sit trying to figure out how to get 6 kids to run with me.  Now I really do sound crazy! 

That said, I guess I will keep this post simple and fast, as I think I have 4.5 seconds before World War 3 breaks out here.  Hoping for some massively huge miracles to happen this week when I try to get my connect group studying done, as I have had very little time to read or study for it.  Praying I get some much needed insight and direction to a few of my struggles right now, too....

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