Monday, July 9, 2012

So ironic...

Ever hear that song "Ironic" by Alanis Morissette?  Though not what I listen to often now, I used to really love her.  She had this way of being so incredibly truthful, and yet putting it all into music that flows.  Tonight, after the girls had been home, the song started to go through my mind.  Like I shoved the CD in and hit repeat.  Over and over it went.  And, my life seems to be the best example. 

I will admit to not being in the most incredible mood.  I am beyond overjoyed the girls are home.  I am beyond thankful they were protected, safe, fed and somewhat clean when they came home.  God is incredibly good to me.  I know that He has insanely incredibly plans for my life.  I just need to remind myself of this over and over.

Tonight, I am fighting so many emotions.  Relief, my babies are home.  Sadness, because my life is nothing like I planned it.  Jealous, because life is just stinky sometimes.  Excited, because I get to see family I haven't seen in a while.  Angry, because life is twisted.  So many things going around in my head. 

I am seriously trying to not allow any of these feelings to overshadow that the girls are home for a few days.  I long to just sit and do nothing with them for a while.  And, tonight, we pretty much did just that.  The girls soaked it up.  I had all of them curled up on me tonight and so enjoyed my quiet calm moments with them.  It was so nice to just be able to hold them and not have to sit and know they weren't home. 

I feel like there are so many things I need to be doing instead of writing about irony and how it keeps sneaking up in my life.  Reminding me that seeing the irony in different areas of my life isn't helping, but instead making me feel a little spiteful.  I hate that, and want it gone. 

Thinking that the studying I need to be doing for my connect group would seriously help.  Might just go do that instead of complain about things I have no business complaining about.  Guess I am done with my rant...  :)

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